Me: I think Michelle Obama is absolutely stunning.
Man at Party: I'm not sexually attracted to black women.
What I really said: I'm sure her husband appreciates that.
What I wanted to say: I don't think she asked to be in your masturbatory rotation.
Moral of the story? Interesting things happen when you're the third person (read: wheel) at a dinner party and three bottles of champagne are consumed (but you only have two glasses).
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