This takes talking about yourself in the third person to a whole other level.

It's bad enough when your date talks about himself in the third person.  Actually, it's bad when anyone talks about themself in the third person.  But, when your date refers to different aspects of their personality by their own names, that's a really bad situation.
This is a dramatization:

"Dr. Jeckell appreciates beautiful flowers and loves his mother and the Catholic Church.  Mr. Hyde plays in bands and likes sports cars and partying."

You have to imagine him leaning on his car and smoking while he says that, of course motioning to the car while mentioning "sports cars."

My internal monologue went:

"No, my boss has a sports car (Porsche).  You have a Civic with some blue metallic paint and a spoiler." 

You know things are bad when...

You know things are bad when you text message your boss from the bathroom while you're on a date because he's the first person who will notice that you've gone missing.

You know things are horrible when that message says "my date has been talking about rape for 15 minutes..."

911...

Can't make this stuff up! In what world is it appropriate for someone you just met to point out a girl in the bar he slept with and tell you he also had to call the cops on her? Oh yeah, and she's about 20 years younger than him.

"I'm not sexually attracted to black women."

My exchange with the man across the table from me at a dinner party:

Me: I think Michelle Obama is absolutely stunning.

Man at Party: I'm not sexually attracted to black women.

What I really said: I'm sure her husband appreciates that.

What I wanted to say: I don't think she asked to be in your masturbatory rotation.

Moral of the story?  Interesting things happen when you're the third person (read: wheel) at a dinner party and three bottles of champagne are consumed (but you only have two glasses).